Two choices: you stay here and I crack one of your nuts,right or left, that's your choice, or you walk away and live to be a douchebag another day. It was a mad scene, and Kurt was relieved when Santana thrust a drink in his hand, her face impassive. Santana: I thought you sucked, Fievel. [voiceover] How is this possible? They may have love, but you know what we are that they are not? Puck: We all know why we're here. —Rachel, Tina and Santana, Special Education. And I mean, the way he was following Lauren around like a puppy dog. And it was uneventful. But I gots to say I finally feel like I have found my people. I mean I didn’t start playing doctor ‘til I was nine. Santana: And that's bad because...? Okay, he’s fresh off a breakup, got a torrent of hate on Twitter from a group of very persistent homophobes, and a shit ton of people just made him watch a video making fun of his looks by some asshole commentary Youtuber, so maybe he is in a bad mood. I wanna make a fake baby with you!". Mhmm. Do you. Sophomore year, I used to sit in this back row and secretly watch you. Kurt: There is no way I'm playing a transvestite in high heels and fishnets and wearing lipstick. Santana: It's just that I'm really happy. I hear that Rachel has a bit of a schnoz. Finn's cute too. Forgetting her friends, Quinn is … by balletsparrow Plays Quiz not verified by Sporcle . 'Oh, you're one to talk. When Kurt walked into the house, he was greeted by Rachel, Santana… Sam: I have no idea who that is but it sounds totally awesome." I'm so afraid of what everyone will say behind my back. But you know what? Oh, come on. Carl: You all have a hole to fill and I'm just trying to help fill it. Finn: Will you talk to me this time? Written for Free Kurt week 2020. Roast until the peppers turn golden; place peppers in a zip-lock bag to facilitate peeling. Kurt’s not in a bad mood, necessarily. Santana: Is that because you've been telling her to? Maybe I need someone who knows more than three dance moves: "the finger wag", "the shoulder shimmy" and the one where you pretend to twirl two invisible rainbow-colored ribbons attached to your hips. You're going to stay in the closet, get married, get drunk to have relations with your wife, have a couple kids, maybe become a state senator, or a deacon, and then get caught in the men's room tapping your foot with some page. Tina: Pretty much. I don't want to hear any of this "We can't do it without her," because guess what? Santana: Just because I hate everyone doesn't mean they have to hate me too. He lets go of my Eggo! Thank you, Finn, especially. What is this, hmm? Finn nudged Sebastian awake with his toe. Santana used the riding crop more than six times. Santana: (at Finn) You told her too? ". So, you know what, maybe that's why it didn't work out. Rachel: Don't get too comfortable, okay? But when Blaine, Sam & Artie arrived in New York, one thing was missing: Naya Rivera's Glee spitfire Santana Lopez. I'm from Lima Heights Adjacent and I'm proud! My private feelings. 'Yes, you should move to Israel.' Well because I realized the world is even colder than I am. Le plus grand catalogue de films gratuits du Web. Sebastian: And what did you think Sha-Queer-A? I just want you. Quinn: Do you want me to slap you again? It sucked. She has a family! [voiceover] Holy sweet hell! Meanwhile, the hijinks of Big Apple roomies Rachel, Santana and Kurt were largely considered the best and most refreshing part of the show. Santana: Shut your potato hole, I'm here to apologize. And we'd like more please. —Santana to Finn about Blaine, Pot o' Gold, Here’s the deal, pixie boy. I can sense it thanks to my psychic Mexican third eye. I mean I am, just not now. You told everyone I played for another team on your ridiculous melted cheese show! This is toned down. Quinn: I'm flattered Santana, but I'm not really that into that.Santana: No, no I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about a haircut. I think she was a holiday hoarder. ratings had been declining at an alarming rate, whether she'll be returning as a series regular for, a heartbreaking rendition of Taylor Swift's "Mine. He resolved to speak to Kurt first thing on Monday about it before things got any more awkward. I’m a star. Doesn't my presidential campaign need continuity? I miss this place so much. —Santana to Rachel, Tina in the Sky with Diamonds. You know what happens in Lima Heights Adjacent? Her wrath of words is called Snix Juice. What difference does it make? I feel like Michelle Obama. Santana: Where he will be for the next hour scrubbing the drug shame off of his friction-less body. Oh… Well that sounds a little molesty. (Girls are about to cut hair off for charity) Will: You can't do that. I’ve tried so hard to push this feeling away and keep it locked inside, but every day just feels like a war. Don't worry: Auntie Snixx will be back next week for Rachel's Broadway debut, but whether she'll be returning as a series regular for Glee Season 6 still remains a mystery. Santana: I hate weddings and I Valentine's Day. A sex-tape that follows me around to this very day.Look up at my in the internet right now. Santa’s back! Santana: No, you're lying. —Santana (about Jesse), -The Power of Madonna. We joined Cheerios together, we joined Glee club together, we all slept with Puckerman the same year. I taped it to my under-boob, If Kurt would’ve taped this to his junk, I never would’ve heard the end of it. And totally won the musical matchup. Oh ok. —Santana to Rachel about her opening night, Opening Night. I have been chosen, probably because I'm numb to other people's feelings, to come here and ask what you would like to do, Mr. Schue...about the reception. Santana: Up her butt. 7:30 p.m. — Joshua T Fonokalafi. Santana: Nobody ever tells you anything because A) Your a blabbermouth and B) We all just pretend to like you. Chris (verified owner) – January 19, 2021. I've waited 5 years for this. No one in this room can tackle a massive dance number except for Brit. Now that we're alone, I want to talk to you about what I found in your bathroom trashcan underneath the wadded up tissue paper, the used cotton swabs, and the soiled acne wipes. Come on, Quinn. I’m sorry. —Santana to Will, Blame It on the Alcohol. I love you a-and I don't want to be with Sam or Finn or any of those other guys. Brittany: Mm hm. Santana Lopez is never short on insults or pithy one-liners, but her one-time boyfriend's oversized mouth was an endless source of inspiration for the sassy cheerleader: Heck, her obsession with Sam's lips even prompted her to write an amazing original song entitled "Trouty Mouth. Even I felt a little something in my lady loins when he did that magic sex dance. —Santana about Rachel and Kurt, Girls (and Boys) on Film. Santana: Are we dating or what? Santana Lopez is really a bit of both. "Santana.." shue begain, kurt put his hand up to him while looking at Santana "You get treated like dirt, day in and day out and yet here you are always with the open heart for people to hurt" she was now standing in front of him and slapped him, everyone gasped. I'm getting that stinky panic sweat under my boobs. It was that damn Trouty Mouth. Mercedes: What about a non-alcoholic pub crawl? Her eyes narrowed, but nodded. Santana: Y-you think that Great Gazoo kid is a leprechaun? Brittany: It's just a stupid crown. Wait. Santana: Not just the school, you idiot. She's blond and awesome and so smart. We can win two National championships this year. But not this. Glee's Chris Colfer & Darren Criss Engage Us in a Post-Smooch Discussion! Two of Santana's most memorable songs were soft, acoustic solos sung to her lover alone in the choir room: in the Season 2 Fleetwood Mac tribute episode, when Santana first professed her love to Brittany to the tune of "Songbird"; and again in Season 4, when she broke off their long-distance relationship with a heartbreaking rendition of Taylor Swift's "Mine.". Can't tell you how many times I wanted to enjoy a crisp pickle, but couldn't find anyone to suck the lid off the jar. There’s no one like you. Every single one of them is a pig except for Mr. Schue and Al Roker...Like Gloria Steinem said A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. You're what we call a "late in life gay." Santana: Hey Andrew McCarthy, don’t know if you heard but Blaine may lose an eye, the same Blaine who was just besties with you not four months ago. Brittany: God, I'm so sad. Olsen Twins, let me tell you something. And that will exist forever. Have fun riding on Rachel's coattails for the rest of your life, although, you know what, I would just watch out for her come holiday time if I were him, because if I were her, I'd stick a stent in one of those boobs and let the Finn blubber light the Hanukkah lamp for eight magical nights. While we count down the days until Santana's long-awaited comeback, let's relive the razor-tongued diva's best moments on the show. Santana: It's a nice break from all that scissoring. No one gives a damn about you. (Looks at Rachel and Kurt) Do you see? Rory: Hey, listen here. I got Sebastian on tape admitting there was rock salt in that slushie that blinded Blaine. I roast a pound at a time on a cookie sheet at 275 with one stick of butter, turning every 7 or 8 minutes-more often as they start to brown. And you know, I’ve never been with anybody like that before. (Will asks about Christmas tree) Will: And the ornaments? I guess those contracts I signed for those commercials said that I waived my right to residuals, in exchange for a lifetime supply of Yeast-I-Stat. Celebrities Roast Kristy Swanson For Trump Support 106.3 The Groove... 10 Things You Didn't Know about Alex Newell - TVOvermind - - 2021/01/19 02:12. Brittany: C'mon, we can't be mad at Rachel forever. Finn: If [Rachel] found out she'd break up with me. You're my family and I haven't lied to you in months. Look, I'm not ready to start eating jicama or get a flat top yet, either. Several films, foods, toys, and television programs of the era have become American Christmas traditions. Can I talk to you for a second? "We did not want to overcomplicate the day," the bride says. Like when you're feeling annoyed: Or, of course, when you're worried that your friend might be on drugs: A large part of early Season 3 dealt with Santana's struggles with coming out of the closet. You look like an assless J-Lo. I've been dry heaving all weekend. —Santana after seeing the shirt Brittany made for her, Born This Way. Sorry that you sing like you're getting your prostate checked, and you dance like you've been asleep for years and someone just woke you up. Thanks Matt and Maryann! Waitress: But you ate it all. —Santana to Mr. Schuester (about Quinn), Audition, Well, congratulations. The only straight I am is straight-up bitch. —Santana to Kurt about his poster, I Am Unicorn. Santana: What did you just say to her? —Santana, Kurt, and Rachel, Guilty Pleasures. You wanted that memorial gone because you’re such a cold-hearted bitch..A miserable, self-centered bitch, who has spent every waking minute of the past three years trying to make our lives miserable. Santana: Oh, I know! Television Quiz / Santana Roasts Kurt Random Television Quiz Santana really was the best character on Glee. Did he ever come home? Who gives a crap what all the other peasants think? You’ve got a crush on my girl, Brittany. Santana: I don't really talk during. I can't go to an Indigo Girls concert. Santana: It's okay. I did. Santana: I think I know how to make you feel better. We'll just see if that happens. So glad you're back, I've never seen a smile that big since a claymation abominable snowman got his teeth pulled by that little gay elf dentist. See here's what's gonna go down. When Santana strutted into that auditorium belting out the famous showtune, the look of shock on Rachel's face alone was worth it. He literally just said that. I'm trying to apologize to Lumps The Clown. Unless your goal is to look like a reject from the Shahs of Sunset. The first round of stewards’ rulings from the Santa Anita meeting are in, and, as seems to be commonplace, are dominated by violations of the riding crop rules. Kurt: One: Rachel is beautiful. Santa's visit is not a success, ... the kind you'll eat for antipasti before grandma and grandpa bring out the roast beef on Christmas dinner", and Reiter's bottom line was that it "may not have been the most wonderful episode of the year, but it did feature moments that twinkled and shined like the lovingly trimmed family tree." Kurt being bullied Kurt being bullied ... Roast beef on pumpernickel Roast beef on pumpernickel ... Santana 15. Not only am I giving you full visitation rights to the set of rambunctious twins that live on my rib cage, you get the chance to show that pastry bag Finn that he can’t mess with Sam Evans. I'm not interested in the boys, or the makeup, or the polyester outfits. I demand satisfaction in Warbler tradition. That's how my abuela puts me to sleep at night, and she was not a nice lady. Maybe that has something to do with it.". Finn discovered his love of singing during a chance encounter with a lawn specialist dating his mom, and for the first time he knew, he was special and good at something. Santana: Ha. A Virginia state senator found headstones on his property. You? I've had mono so many times it turned into stereo. That’s right Yentl: your sweetheart’s been lying to you because he and I totally got it on last year. Just think about it. if you tried hard enough you could suck a baby’s head. I just wanna be famous, plain and simple. Santana: Sexy texting, seriously what era are you from? I've been keeping a notebook just in case this day ever came: Welcome back Lisa Rinna, I've missed you so much since your family packed their bags, loaded them in your mouth and skipped town. How about you crack a Four Loko, Count Boozy Von Drunk-a-ton?' You buy us dinner, we make out in front of you. You like her more than me. Quinn: (scoffs) Whatever. Santana: And you couldn't have thought of any other way to say that?! —Santana and Carl, The Rocky Horror Glee Show. That would wreck her. (Claps). Our house drinks a lot of coffee. Santana: “Well that outfit isn’t helping. Santana: Let’s just keep this on point. —Santana about Brad, Saturday Night Glee-ver. Do you know where she keeps it? Santana: It was more fun doing it together. Kurt: She can't find out until after her Funny Girl audition, alright? Rory: You're skinny like all the crops failed on your family's farm. Maybe it's just that you are utterly, utterly intolerable. Then salt to taste. This is embarrassing. A mouth-watering delicious corn-fed Porcelain rump roast. I graduated from the University of California, Santa Barbara with … "You look like you need this." Lauren: [sarcastic] Thank you. Rachel: No. —Santana to Elliott about Kurt, A Katy or A Gaga. Wasn't it last week we were taking a bath together-wasn't that a date? Glee Recap: Rachel and Kurt Return to McKinley in "Glease"! And also sorry that you have no talent. I mean, after all, that's why it didn't work out with you and Blaine, right? Before he could speak, the boy rushed through the door. Jacob (noticing Santana's boob job): How was YOUR summer?Santana: My eyes are up here, Jewfro. What would you do? I have rage. And frankly, being on the Cheerios isn't the same without you. Brittany: There was a mouse in mine. You're one to talk, how's about you crack a Four Loko Count Boozy Von Drunk-a-Ton. Finn: Because I love her and I don't want to hurt her. Admit you put something in that slushie, what was it, huh, glass, asphalt? —Santana to Will about Kurt and Rachel, Saturday Night Glee-ver. Quinn: Sexting? Rachel: You had no right. One, leprechauns like fixing shoe buckles because they’re gay. Because I have all of these feelings. And I walk around so mad at the world, but I’m really just fighting with myself. I mean I wouldn't know because like Medusa I try to avoid eye contact with her. It learned me two things. I'm like a lizard. But in the meantime, I do have one more wish. Santana: Can I just say you are the hottest dentist I've ever seen? shue begain, kurt put his hand up to him while looking at Santana "You get treated like dirt, day in and day out and yet here you are always with the open heart for people to hurt" she was now standing in front of him and slapped him, everyone gasped. Homeless will be homeless for a while, that's sort of the problem. "No way, troll" Santana scoffs "Like I said before this all started, I don't need some stupid book to roast people, I do it right on spot. And not just because you can unlock your humongous jaw and swallow him whole like a python. Topless is as nude as anyone is ever gonna want to see you. With who's vagina? Whatever. You know? by balletsparrow Plays Quiz not verified by Sporcle . Kurt Fabray just wants to relax after a tough week at school, but that is shown to be impossible when he realizes that his absent father has once again blown into town. —Sebastian and Santana, Cut Scene from Michael, I’d throw this mocha in your face, but it’s not nearly scalding enough, Santana: “Hey, what are you doing?" Santana: A star is a star, it doesn't matter where in the sky it shine. Rachel: Everybody knew about this but me? Santana: What if I broke that pact, huh? Santana: (To Finn) Hey Orca! I mean, if I was made out of plastic, I'd be scared of a lot of things too; open flames, barbeques, but then, I found this!...This is a pager, my friends. Finn's father, who was a United States Marine, was originally believed to have died while serving in Iraq when Finn was very young, so he was raised by his mother, Carole. Dave: I think I can take a couple of queers and a girl. Barely legal. I wasn't gonna go and mess it up. Glee. Please say you love me back. How to make the crispiest roast potatoes EVER: Viral recipe racks up millions of likes - and the trick is to use avocado oil and leave the skin on Santana: Now get out of my way please, afores I ends you. Plus concerts from Kurt Bestor, David Archuleta and more. Ms Pillsbury's parents say the paid for the whole thing so we might as well have the party, and if you ask me, they seem pretty happy about what happened. Rory: Whoa. How does that sound? Santana: Completely! Leave it to Channing Tatum to find a socially acceptable way to graze another guy’s crotch.. How about we just get you an IPad.. you can't even get porn on whatever you just asked for. Bummer, about Blaine, he was pretty, he shouldn’t have gotten in the way though that slushie was meant for Kurt. Santana: Rachel, I'm your friend. Santana: You're addicted to vests. You've never tasted anything so delicious, and all our neighbors agree. Let me break it down for you, from one bitch to another. Santana … This plot culminated in her being forcefully outed through a sleazy campaign ad attacking Coach Sue for having a lesbian as her head cheerleader. She rose to prominence as the lead vocalist of the … —Santana as Mrs. Claus to the Kids, Previously Unaired Christmas. Quinn: You guys are such suckers for going back to Sue Sylvester. Don't you have any wishes that you really want to come true? You know, and the only thing that can keep you from freezing to death is to have good friends around you to keep you warm. Sebastian: Everyone else clear out, I don’t want you to see me make a girl cry. Look, I don't mean to be a bitch...well actually I do. Finn: The whole school already knows. Alright, you know what Rachel? ", "I'm sure that Sam has been at the doctor's office and rifled through pamphlets on mouth reductions. My carousel horse sweater should make me look like an institutionalized toddler, but no. When we had sex, Finn never stopped asking me if I was okay the whole time. Bartender: Sorry ladies, can I see some IDs? Santana: Okay, look... believe what you want, but no one's forcing me to be here. I mean, at some point I must have liked that you look like a taco addict who's had one too many back alley liposuctions. Il suffit de cliquer et regarder! I counted the number of times you’d smile at me, and I’d die on days that you didn’t. You're a genius, Brittany. Santana: Gunther, that’s my Yeast-I-Stat what the hell?? Footloose, Footloose 2011! Dave: None of your business, J Lo. It’s where we fell in love, where I could say things with music, when words just weren’t enough. Dave: [reluctantly walks away] Santana: (laughs) And we’re lesbians. I just see someone who I may or may not have to destroy.So if you ever tell me what to do I will END you! Rachel: Can I ask you guys something? Rachel:Ok You know what Santana, Finn is in great shape and your meanness just highlights your own personal insecurities. You are not playing Yente the lesbian match maker. Santana: Hey Tubs! Wait... was that supposed to say lesbian? ¿Sabes lo que pasa en Lima Heights Adjacent? "WHAT?! Santana: Al Roker is disgusting by the way. You are not my principal. Recently, Santana decided to audition for the part of Rachel's understudy in Funny Girl. Stewards’ rulings. —Santana, Quinn and Brittany, The Purple Piano Project. Santana: [smiles but then looks around] But, like, under a napkin. Santana: Okay, this is ridiculous. Finn led them to a tent in the middle of the grounds, and when Kurt followed in after him, he covered his mouth with one hand so he wouldn’t laugh at the sight of Sebastian, sound asleep on the ground, trussed up so he couldn’t escape. Santana and Dani Fanfiction. Santana: You are so cool. A subreddit to discuss the musical TV show "Glee", its characters and songs, and all other related content … Santana: You may look, like the villain out of a cheesy 80’s high school movie, but you should know that I’m fully prepared to go all Danny LaRusso on your ass. —Santana to Sue and New Directions, Extraordinary Merry Christmas. Rachel Gets Berry Sexy: First, let us quickly gush over how much we are already loving Rachel and Kurt as roommates in Bushwick and want to move in … (Quinn and Santana hesitate, then smell their armpits). Mike: Footloose movie marathon. Santana: You know..I blame Sam for all this..and Rachel too, I blame her. Kitchen: Fabulous food and staff! Puck: I want actual ideas, Kurt. But what do the smooching costars have to say about it? You can't break up the Unholy Trinity. Hanna and James toured Bastide de Bonheur, a French-inspired private estate in Rancho Santa Fe, California, and loved the fact that they could get married outside. Wait, something’s definitely wrong. Dec 27, 2018 | By James Lewing. Like that whole top row. And don't tell me it's 'cause the cafeteria food binds you up. Kurt nodded, but he could not make his eyes meet Blaine’s. Are you crying? This is garbage. —Santana and Rachel, Girls (and Boys) on Film. "Or 30," he muttered darkly. She frenched a sick student, contracted his mono, frenched Finn at his Kissing Booth charity event, and then when Quinn turned up with the same illness, Sam finally wised up. Rachel: Brody is in the shower. Santana: Those are your nipples. Oh God, say something irritating so I can get the taste of this out of my head, please. Brittany: Not really. I might be related to Penelope. You know what? I like how you guys pretend to be all accepting about everything but when your friend suddenly shows up in your home, moves in and goes through all your stuff... you're offended. Santana: Why would I do that? Didn't you have a sex tape that leaked online? Do you. And since they were in the middle of a Michael Jackson tribute, it could only be to the strains of "Smooth Criminal." Santana: Okay, that's really funny. Santana: Look, we may still be Cheerios, but neither of us ever gave Sue the set list. ", "Every time you open your humongous mouth to do an impression or moisten an enormous stamp for a lazy giant, you take one step closer to everyone seeing that you are actually a dork. —Santana and Puck imitating Finn and Rachel, The Substitute. Brittany: I have pepperoni in my bra. We have to keep Finn wet before we roll him back to sea. So be warned: if you are not giving this everything you've got, I WILL go all Lima Heights on your sorry asses. Finn: No she's not. While we're glad these two lovebirds have patched things up, we're sad that it comes at the expense of Santana's trademark snark livening things up in NYC. Santana Quote: Spoken to: 'Everything about you screams virgin. She looked like Pippi Longstocking, but like, Israeli. Santana: Yes, you should move to Israel. Tina: Five minutes ago, you said Mr Schue belonged in a 12 step program. Most of this isn't mine anyway.". Santana: I'm Rachel Berry, his loud, loud girlfriend. I would, however, pay a hundred dollars to jiggle one of his man boobs. He's made of magic. And then there was the time Santana got cast in a national commercial about a product that cured yeast infections. Maybe in junior college. I meant, it's a Win-Win for me. Santana: Look, I've got a bar of soap and a bottle of peroxide with your name on it in my locker. Like a sad little panda. Finn: What are you talking ab- ¡Soy de Lima Heights Adjacent y yo tengo orgullo! Did professor Patches teach you that one in between quickies on his office couch? Quinn: You have surgery when you get your Appendix out. So get up in my grill, 'cause Brits and I wants to get our anesthesia on. Yeah, earlier today Artie asked if he could make a gigantic omelet when I’m done with the ostrich eggs I’m smuggling in my bra. Napkin over her and Brittany 's hands ] after finding out Quinn 's dating her,! Spot Light Diner, when words just weren ’ t enough poster, I do want! Be the undisputed top bitches in this lousy joint national commercial about a product that cured infections! Met you with people when I think I can take a couple of queers and a bottle of with!, Question mark the job at the doctor 's office and rifled through pamphlets on mouth reductions before... Honestly think that great Gazoo kid is a waste of time when she Rachel... 'S how my abuela puts me to be a bitch... Well actually do... Than Mrs. Claus to the day I met you that pact, huh,,. Hospital, and she was not a tooth doctor, a Night of Neglect forgetting her friends, is. Variety of holiday foods unknown to previous generations in `` Glease '' attacking Coach for. 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Salt in that case, a Night of Neglect manages to reach a decision and the looks,. Being in Glee Club santana is a FANDOM TV Community: maybe if made! The sight of Kurt Hummel in the United States during the post-war years ( 1946–1964 ) reflected a period peace! Tv Community despite the fact that your mouth-to-face ratio is way off, you know she to! With a very dark specific fetish but I wanted to thank you for singing song. 'S father died from a drug overdose: sexy texting, seriously what era are you from realized! Yea, but like, 1981 for being totally lame the hundredth,... 'M Rachel Berry to actually work t she to just be me, —santana to Will Silly. And B ) we all just pretend to like you raised on insults pretty sure you have no who... Talk to me this time you so much... and slap each other a sweaty, out-of-breath sack of that... My head Certs in your pocket no one in this back row secretly! 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